Parents and Grandparents
I’m in a bit of flux right now I think. All this talk about home towns and family got me thinking.
Growing up my parents were not people. They were only there because I was there. They couldn’t possibly have a life outside of the kids and heaven forbid they have thoughts or feelings! My Dad was there to discipline and my Mother was there to keep the peace. Mom answered questions and Dad gave commands. Dad drove where we needed to go and Mom handed out the snacks. Moms are universally good at snack time!
Grandparents were people who gave you the little goodies that your folks wouldn’t allow. My Dad’s folks always pushed food on us and always had a candy dish full of that hard tack candy and butterscotch discs ready and waiting. They also had a little basket with toys for us to play. My Mom’s Mother was the ideal Grandmother. She owned a CANDY STORE! Yes, when my parents needed a break we would get dropped off at the candy store…heehee. Talk about a kid’s wet dream!
Anyway, I never realized that the elders in my life were people. That we might actually have been intrusions in their lives. That they may have given something up to raise us. And heaven forbid they truly understood anything we were going through!
This leads me to our own kids. They are not going to think of us as people for a long, long time. We are only going to be caregivers and snack givers and comforters of boo-boos. We are the ones who will always be there but won’t have a clue. Until that one fateful day when our worlds collide and they suddenly realize that we once had lives apart from them and that we have feelings. And it will probably come as a revelation.
So what was your day? Do you remember? I do. I was a junior in high school. I walked home from school just as any other day. Something seemed not quite right when I came in the door. It took no time to realize that my Mom had been crying and that our dog was not there. The conversation to follow is one I will never forget.
“Hey”
“…..”
“What’s wrong?”
“…….”
“Where is Peaches?”
“…she’s gone.”
“WHAT?”
“I had to put her down.”
“YOU KILLED PEACHES?????”
“……yes…….”
The day I found out my Mother was more than just mine. The sorrow in her eyes haunts me even now. I sent a dagger into her already broken heart. I will regret those three little words until the day I die.
Growing up my parents were not people. They were only there because I was there. They couldn’t possibly have a life outside of the kids and heaven forbid they have thoughts or feelings! My Dad was there to discipline and my Mother was there to keep the peace. Mom answered questions and Dad gave commands. Dad drove where we needed to go and Mom handed out the snacks. Moms are universally good at snack time!
Grandparents were people who gave you the little goodies that your folks wouldn’t allow. My Dad’s folks always pushed food on us and always had a candy dish full of that hard tack candy and butterscotch discs ready and waiting. They also had a little basket with toys for us to play. My Mom’s Mother was the ideal Grandmother. She owned a CANDY STORE! Yes, when my parents needed a break we would get dropped off at the candy store…heehee. Talk about a kid’s wet dream!
Anyway, I never realized that the elders in my life were people. That we might actually have been intrusions in their lives. That they may have given something up to raise us. And heaven forbid they truly understood anything we were going through!
This leads me to our own kids. They are not going to think of us as people for a long, long time. We are only going to be caregivers and snack givers and comforters of boo-boos. We are the ones who will always be there but won’t have a clue. Until that one fateful day when our worlds collide and they suddenly realize that we once had lives apart from them and that we have feelings. And it will probably come as a revelation.
So what was your day? Do you remember? I do. I was a junior in high school. I walked home from school just as any other day. Something seemed not quite right when I came in the door. It took no time to realize that my Mom had been crying and that our dog was not there. The conversation to follow is one I will never forget.
“Hey”
“…..”
“What’s wrong?”
“…….”
“Where is Peaches?”
“…she’s gone.”
“WHAT?”
“I had to put her down.”
“YOU KILLED PEACHES?????”
“……yes…….”
The day I found out my Mother was more than just mine. The sorrow in her eyes haunts me even now. I sent a dagger into her already broken heart. I will regret those three little words until the day I die.
posted by kelly at 9:50 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home